How to Make Friends Online (and Stay Safe Doing It)

Key Takeaways

• Making and maintaining online connections is super common these days, and when approached in the right way, very safe. 
• Start in communities where you already have an established connection, and go from there.
• Practice common-sense online safety rules, and use PeopleWin to verify your new friend’s identity before getting too deep.

Don’t just take it from us – a slew of studies report that people who keep close friends don’t just experience greater life satisfaction and less depression, they’re actually less likely to die from virtually all common causes, from chronic disease to heart problems. Turns out, having friends is pretty cool.

From Zoom meetings to hyper-niche Discord servers, so many of our connections happen online that about 4 in 10 Americans have online-only friends. But of course, the internet isn’t all fun and games. It’s a famously friendly place for scams, catfishing, and other dangers, meaning there’s a big difference between how to make friends online and how to make friends online safely. Let’s learn how to stay on the sunny side of that equation.

How to Make Friends Online

For the most part, you make friends online the same way you make friends in real life: you tend to have something in common, whether that’s a workplace, an online game you both play, a fandom you follow, or a hobby you share. So if you’re wondering how to make friends online, the beauty of the process is, if you’re already active online, it often starts right where you are.

Before branching out, ask yourself if you’re already active in spaces that facilitate communities with shared interests. What about social media sites? If you’re already on Facebook to keep in touch with your family, for instance, search for Facebook Groups and communities that are into the same stuff you’re into. If you’re already using Discord, browse channels that dive into your hobbies or that share your worldviews. Start your journey where you’ve already laid your online foundation, and branch out from there when you feel comfortable.

In those spaces, keep it public at first, and consider moving on to DMs or individual contact when you feel like you’ve been hitting it off with someone consistently. Take it slow and blossom into voice or video chat as the friendship unfolds. This goes without saying, but keep the DMs and chats friendly, not flirty (and definitely not creepy).

Keep It Genuine

Just like making friends IRL, it always pays to lead with your authentic self when making friends online. It may sound cliché to say “be yourself!” but lots of clichés are built on a bed of truth; being yourself is simply the best way to find the most genuinely compatible friend. To forge lasting, legit friendships that are something more than surface-level, you ultimately want friends who are compatible with you, not with a front you’re putting on. Be genuine about who you are, and about the kind of connection you’re looking for, too.

To make those connections, curiosity is key. Engage in conversation, ask questions, and do what you can to keep the convo rolling. Practice patience and be consistent in your efforts — compatibility is a long game. Take breaks if you’re feeling exhausted (friendship should be fun), and if discouragement starts to kick in, try to remind yourself that rejection is just redirection.

Where to Make Friends Online

Even if you’ve got the how to make friends online part down, where do you find them? The internet is vast, and your options may seem overwhelming (which can be a good thing when it comes to making friends), but here are just a few leads to start with.

• Forums that focus on shared interests (including Reddit or Facebook Groups)
• Social media sites and apps
• Discord servers for communities, hobbies, and fandoms you’re interested in
• Online video games and communities around them
• Twitch and other streaming platforms
• Apps and sites specifically made to make friends
• Online workshops and classes
• Online schools
• Digital volunteerism, from political activism to charitable fundraising to editing wikis and beyond

How to Make Friends Online, Safely

On both sides of the online friendship, boundaries are key. If online connections aren’t comfortable sharing certain details or meeting in person, that’s OK. Respect those boundaries, and always expect your boundaries to be respected in return. Don’t force yourself into situations where you feel uncomfortable. If discomfort does creep in, express it; if that expression isn’t respected, remove yourself from the situation.

Otherwise, keep the basics of online safety in mind as you’re out there making internet friends. 

• Don’t go overboard with sharing personal information, especially valuable private information and identifying info that can be used to perpetrate scams (like financial info, logins, and numbers that might be found on your IDs). 
• As you start to get to know someone, do your research on them, and always trust your instincts if you feel the relationship is taking a triggering or weird turn. 
• Don’t feel pressured to voice chat, video call, or meet in person sooner than you’re comfortable with, and if you do meet in person eventually, tell friends or family where you’re going and who you’re seeing, especially the first few times.

Remember, real friends don’t make you uncomfortable, they don’t drain you emotionally, and they don’t pressure you.

Unfriendly Red Flags

On the wide world of the internet, red flags fly freely, and in many, many shades of crimson. Just like IRL, every online interaction is a little different. Listen to your instincts, talk to your new friends if something rubs you the wrong way, and keep these basic online red flags in mind – if a new online connection does any of these things, you might want to look for the block button.

• Asks for money.
• Asks for personal, identifying information (including photos that can reveal where you live) that might be used to get your money, or otherwise scam you or commit identity theft.
• Uses fake, stolen, or AI-generated photos or content (try a reverse Google Image Search to be sure).
• Love bombs – or friend bombs – you with an uncomfortable amount of affection and attention right out of the gate.
• Likewise, makes emotional demands of you that you don’t feel comfortable keeping up with.
• Consistently crosses boundaries that you have set.
• Engages in hate speech or threats of violence.
• Constantly makes excuses for not being able to honor plans for video or voice chats (which might be a sign of a catfish).
• Instantly wants to go off-site, off-app, or in-person before you’re comfortable doing so.

Frequently Asked Questions

Making online friends requires a healthy dose of curiosity. Here’s what the curious people of the internet are asking about how to make friends online, and how to do it safely.

Where can introverts make friends online?

While it’s tougher and can take a little more patience, introverts can make online friends in all the same online spaces as extroverts. We won’t downplay the difficulty (or bravery) of putting yourself out there, but if busting out of your shell and exploring new friend zones has you anxious, start with a tip from online coworking space host, Jasmine Lee: “meet people where you already are, and where you’re most comfortable.”

Is there a website just to make new friends?

For sure. We’re not endorsing any in particular, so always do your research before signing up, but some sites and apps that focus squarely on making new friends or have prominent friend-making features include Meetup, FriendMatch, Nextdoor, Friender, HelloTalk, and Bumble BFF. 

Is there a safe way to make friends online?

There’s no one right answer here, but you’ll be pretty well equipped if you follow our guidelines above for how to make friends online safely. To lock in your online safety, pair those guidelines with a PeopleWin People Search before the friendship gets too deep.

Just type in a name, email address, or phone number, and we’ll scour over 12 billion records to turn up all sorts of data, including social and dating profiles, employment history, marital status, and even criminal records, so you can instantly find out if your new connection really is who they say they are. We’ve got the peace of mind covered, so you can focus on the friendship.

Dan is a freelance writer, small business owner, and full-time creative living in Dallas, TX. In 15 years of writing, he’s been fortunate to collaborate with companies and publishers like Cannabis and Tech Today, Healthfully, Salon.com, ArtBase, The Seattle Times, USA Today, SF Gate, and many more.